Name dropping

How we determine the membership of the world’s most exclusive club 

New York

OK. Next to last column before the end of the year one, and of course it has to be about the crisis that has enveloped Pug’s, the world’s most exclusive of clubs. For any of you who may have missed it, here, for the benefit of Speccie readers, is the membership list: Patron: Lady Gabriella Windsor. President: Mr Taki Theodoracopulos. Executive Chairman: Count Leopold Bismarck. Chairman and Director of Admissions: Professor William Gimlet, OBE (aka Mr Nicholas Scott). Members: Mr Timothy Hoare, Prince Heinrich von Fürstenberg, HRH Prince Pavlos of Greece, HH the Maharajah of Jodhpur, Mr Arpad Busson, Mr Christopher Lee, CBE, Sir Bob Geldof.

Not a bad list, even if I say so myself, but the beauty and strength of the club is the list of those who have tried to join and have been brutally blackballed by an admissions committee which makes Saudi Arabian religious courts look like small-claims tribunals in Berne, Switzerland. People like Henry Kravis, Hugh Grant, George Soros, Rupert Murdoch ( I was furious at that one but there was nothing I could do), Warren Buffett, Sir Elton John, Bernard-Henry Lévy, Sir Mick Jagger, and so on. This week William Gimlet flew over to the Bagel from Londonistan in order to settle once and for all the question of a M’Dame for our London headquarters. We obviously need a housekeeper and after a spirited three-day — and night — discussion, we have settled on Heather Mills, Lady McCartney, as our Mrs Danvers. Although she could have trouble with the stairs, it is an inspired choice in view of the fact that she ran Sir Paul’s (also among the first to be blackballed) various houses impeccably.