Nancy Dell'Olio

Nancy Dell’Olio: Englishmen can’t flirt (except for Russell Brand) 

What is it that makes British males so frightened of feelings? 

Why can’t British men flirt? This was one of my first thoughts when I arrived in England some years ago. I adore flirting. Like so many Italians, I consider flirting a way of life, an added joy to the day, as harmless, normal and pleasurable to a woman as a glass of chilled champagne at an unexpected hour.

When living in Rome, I had become accustomed to that stereotypical Italian man. I’m sure you are all aware of who I am referring to: L’uomo forte. Oh, they are adorable. The subtle glances across a room, the secret smile, that turning of the head and that silent acknowledgement that if only, if only, and then a lingering, regretful pleasure of what might have been. All completely innocent but a continual reminder, an acknowledgement that a woman is a joy to behold.

And then I came to live in London.

It seemed to me at first that there were only two types of English men. One was the eccentric charmer — the Oliver Reed who had to knock back at least two bottles at lunch to gather the confidence for a slurred attempt at seduction. Then there was the bumbling, inarticulate Hugh Grant sort, whose shyness, though endearing, suggested an underlying terror of women.

Foreigners sometimes imagine that the idea of an embarrassed, anxious Englishman is just a joke, but my unfortunate encounters with British men have led me to understand that the stereotype is true. In Italy everything is on the surface; tears, joy and sensuality run unrestrained through the streets of Rome. Passion is considered natural and important. Italian men pride themselves on being passionate, as do French and Spanish men — even Americans have the confidence to express strong emotions. So what is it that makes British men so frightened of feelings?

One of the very few British men who bucks the trend is that straggly-haired Casanova Russell Brand.

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