No soppiness, please

Broadsides from the pirate captain of the Jet Set

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As Marshal Blucher spluttered to the Iron Duke at the conclusion of the Battle of Waterloo, 'Quelle affaire!' I am talking about my three wonderful weeks in England. The warnings about one's health should not be on cigarette boxes but in London airports, hotels and restaurants –during the months of June and July, that is. Having slowed down on the booze, I was reluctant to return to the capital during the high season in case bad habits came back. Well, even without lotsa booze, London, I have to admit, is the place to be come summer. The Bagel is fun but people are either too stiff or too downmarket. They either yearn for respectability and act in a manner they think upper-crust Brits do, or spill the beans about their innermost thoughts and secrets