I saw the new James Bond last night, but after reading today’s reviews I’m not sure I watched the same film as the critics. Perhaps the glitz of the Royal Albert Hall and proximity to the stars make reviewers better disposed towards a film. Those of us watching in the Odeon, Leicester Square, eating Joe and Seph’s 007 Dry Martini popcorn (transmuted into caramel coating with five per cent vodka) were perhaps less carried away.
The Bond of No Time to Die is, you’ll have gathered, terrifically in touch with his emotions. He’s got a vulnerable side; he’s angry and wounded; he’s empathetically good with a little girl (he feeds her apple slices); he’s respectful of his fellow (sometime replacement) 00, Nomi, played by Lashana Lynch; he’s manly enough not to mind getting wistful about the little girl’s knitted rabbit; he’s monogamous, not promiscuous.
Trouble is, he’s not much like Bond, books or films.

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