Paddy Ashdown: Grant Shapps is ‘fine man’ who’s ‘never done anything dodgy’

Paddy Ashdown: Grant Shapps is ‘fine man’ who’s ‘never done anything dodgy’
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You have to hand it to the Liberal Democrats: they know how to put out a press release. Following accusations in the Guardian that Grant Shapps or someone ‘under his clear direction’ has been editing Wikipedia pages of his rivals, the Lib Dems have put out a press release dripping in sarcasm from Paddy Ashdown: ‘Grant Shapps is a fine man and has never done anything dodgy’. Here is the full text:

Grant Shapps is a wonderful human being, a literary great and has in no way ever brought his party or politics into disrepute, the Chairman of the Liberal Democrat General Election Campaign said.

Paddy Ashdown called the Conservative Party Chairman a credit to his craft and applauded him for his contribution to writing, including for his Booker Prize-winning novel ‘Stinking Rich Three’.

The former Liberal Democrat leader also urged journalists to stop calling Mr Shapps ‘Michael Green’ – because it is definitely not funny and was entirely normal for politicians to use alter-egos.

Liberal Democrat General Election Campaign Chairman Paddy Ashdown said:

“Grant is a wonderful guy - he is a credit to the Conservative Party, a fine sportsman and reads a book a day. We could all learn a lot from him.

“He has led the Tories with exemplary skill and if, like me, you have been lucky enough to meet him – you know you have been touched by greatness.

“Quite simply, a colossus.”

The press release ends with a note to editors saying ‘This Press Release has been edited by Wikipedia user Contribsx’ — this being the username of the mysterious Wikipedia user who has been supposedly editing pages. Although a Tory spokesman says the allegations are ‘completely false and defamatory’, Mr S believes a coconut should be rewarded to the Lib Dem press office who has managed to brighten up everyone’s day.