The House of Lords is like a bag of doughnuts in the lap of a traffic policeman. There’s always room for one more. The newest peer, David Cameron, was the subject of much amused scorn at PMQs. Rishi Sunak wasn’t prepared for an obvious query about his new Foreign Secretary: what is Dave’s greatest feat on the international stage? Kevin Brennan, of Labour, put this question, and he asked Rishi to name a specific achievement.
‘Many, many,’ said Rishi, floundering in shallow waters. In search of a highlight from Dave’s CV, he said that he ‘hosted one of the most successful G8 summits of recent times.’ Rishi didn’t enlarge. Several MPs brought up Dave’s career as a lobbyist for a group with connections to the Chinese Communist Party but Rishi swatted them aside with a dead-safe platitude. ‘Unrivalled experience,’ he cried more than once. Dave has ‘unrivalled experience to help Britain navigate an uncertain word in challenging times.’ It sounded like a phrase from a holiday brochure. But he didn’t explain why he’d waited so long to summon the great diplomat to the bridge. And it’s odd that no international body has invited the master diplomat to spearhead peace initiatives around the globe. All rather mysterious.
Sir Keir Starmer had a minor dig at the last PM but three. He said that Rishi had ‘peeled’ Dave away from ‘his seven-year exile in a shepherd’s hut.’ And he mocked Rishi for handing the Foreign Office to a has-been rather than to one of his elected MPs. Sir Keir was on typical form today. Smirking, grinning, and tutting self-righteously but doing little else. He’s waiting for power to fall into his hands so he smiles furtively at the despatch box, like a birthday boy playing a game of pass-the-parcel that’s been rigged in his favour. He lambasted Rishi for squandering resources on his doomed Rwanda project but he offered no alternative.
‘The central pillar of his government has crumbled,’ he wailed. And he demanded that Rishi apologise for his failure. But what would Labour do? The PM helped him out and predicted that Sir Keir will cut a deal with the EU and hold a gala reception for 100,000 new arrivals.
‘Stop the boats?’ said Rishi. ‘He wants to welcome more of them.’
Then, the Middle East. A lot of MPs behave as if PMQs were a plenary session of the UN convened to resolve the Israel-Palestine question for all time. Stephen Flynn of the SNP was keen for his soundbite to enter the annals of history. He accused the Tories of ‘watching as an open prison is turned into a graveyard.’ Neale Hanvey, of Alba, outdid him in bogus self-importance. ‘It’s a question of humanity and morality,’ he pleaded in his forgettable voice. He begged the PM to ‘lead calls for peace or endorse death, violence and destruction. Which will he choose?’ Rishi called that ‘extremely naïve and simplistic.’
Kerry McCarthy ended the session with a worrying question about cystic fibrosis. The latest ground-breaking treatments obviate the need for lung transplants, she said. But the government’s drug quango, NICE, has declared the medication too costly. As for the kids with CF? Well that’s tough. The NHS has a boundless appetite for serving the interests of its staff. Meanwhile the patients, even children desperate for new lungs, barely register on its scale of priorities.
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