The party leaders conformed to type at PMQs. Rishi Sunak declared that Britain is experiencing an economic boom. ‘Inflation is back to normal,’ he announced about six times. It felt like about 60. Sir Keir Starmer reminded us that he used to run the CPS which is one of his favourite boasts. But it was odd to hear it wedged into a formal statement about the infected blood scandal – an astonishing piece of forensic acrobatics. Worthy of an award.
That was the end of the gloomy bit. Then came the note of joy. ‘This country is waiting for a Labour government to bring down NHS waiting-lists’
Sir Ed Davey banged the drum for his favourite group of victims, Britain’s hard-pressed carers. He scolded Rishi for ‘persecuting’ them and not offering them the support they deserve. Rishi let him know that ‘persecuted’ carers had in fact sent the DWP false information about their personal circumstances. Far from being mistreated, they were being asked to repay what was never theirs.
Labour’s backbenchers gave us a glimpse of the party in power. Janet Daby delivered a speech that sounded sweetly beguiling. She began with news of a constituent suffering from a chronic leg injury. ‘She feels forgotten and neglected,’ said Daby. A two-year wait has not delivered the necessary repairs and the patient is now searching for a new home to accommodate her infirmity. That was the end of the gloomy bit. Then came the note of joy. ‘This country is waiting for a Labour government to bring down NHS waiting-lists.’ She seems to imagine that the words ‘Labour government’ can magic away all the woes of the health service. Rishi was unconvinced. He quoted the example of Wales where 25 per cent of the population are waiting (and hoping and praying) for NHS treatment. Emergency care is worse than anywhere else, he said, and ‘waiting times are 40 per cent longer.’ He summed it up in one word. ‘Failure.’
Diehard sceptics take a different view. They believe the goal of the NHS is not universal healthcare but universal annihilation. Once the average waiting-time exceeds the average life-expectancy, the health service will have done its job.
Zarah Sultana, whose quickfire delivery is astonishingly powerful, crunched through a list of demands in relation to Palestine. Like many on her side, she imagines that Britain is not just at war in the Middle East but is encouraging the commission of atrocities. She called for the disarmament of Israel and the arrest of Benyamin Netanyahu. ‘Always nice to see the changed Labour party in action,’ said Rishi.
The most blistering contribution came from Bell Ribeiro-Addy, who represents the affluent constituency of Streatham. The keyboards of note-takers were almost on fire as they wrote down her torrents of accusation. She was in full flame-thrower mode.
‘The Trussell Trust handed out 3.1 million emergency food parcels last year,’ she cried. ‘Double the number five years ago. Absolute poverty is at the highest rate for 30 years. A quarter of all children live below the poverty-line and two-thirds of those are in homes where at least one parent works.’
She demanded to know if Rishi had ‘any plans at all’ to tackle the crisis and she finished with a brilliant remedy of her own. ‘Restore the child poverty unit.’ Doubtless the Labour cabinet will revive this quango as soon as they take power. Not that the ‘unit’ will listen to those it purports to serve. Expert panels always operate like members-only clubs and they stuff their lists with head-scratchers and thumb-twiddlers who devour public cash while exchanging banalities.
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