The Spectator

Portrait of the Week – 17 May 2003

A speedy round-up of the week's news

Clare Short, the International Development Secretary, resigned on the pretext that the Prime Minister had broken his assurances that the UN would be more involved in the reconstruction of Iraq. Mr Blair, she told the Commons, should start thinking about resigning himself and prepare for ‘an elegant succession’. Within half an hour, the Prime Minister had appointed Lady Amos to Ms Short’s job, suggesting that he had been preparing to sack Ms Short anyway. An IRA hitman called Alfredo Scappaticci, said to be head of the organisation’s ‘nutting squad’, was alleged to have been helping British intelligence for years under a codename ‘Stakeknife’ or ‘Steak Knife’. Mr Scappaticci later denied it. Lord Irvine, the Lord Chancellor, unveiled new outfits for judges, which make them look like priests. The Education Secretary, Charles Clarke, described mediaeval historians as ‘ornaments’ and suggested that the state should no longer pay for their activities. The Conservative party promised to drop tuition fees and cut the number of university places. The splendidly named HM Inspector of Anatomy claimed that 100,000 brains have been illegally retained for research, with morticians paid a bounty of £10 a time to obtain them. A private school in north London expelled one of its star pupils after he failed to turn up for the school photograph. The European Commission took the government to court for giving planning permission for a large white horse cut into natural chalk grassland over the entrance to the Channel Tunnel. The Food Standards Agency warned that too many vitamins are bad for the health. Ann Summers, a chainstore selling sex toys, sued the government for discrimination after being banned from allowing to advertise staff vacancies at job centres. The Queen’s cousin, Marina Mowatt, was revealed to be living on housing benefit. The Countess of Wessex announced that she is pregnant.

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