Preposterously, the BBC has taken my advice

I may sue for plagiarism. In my failed bid to become Director General of the BBC I suggested that the corporation should henceforth cover no news stories, nor commission any drama or comedy and instead simply occupy itself by debating, in public, its manifest incompetencies. I thought that this would be an entertaining and cheap way of filling up air time.

Annoyingly, for me, this is exactly what the BBC is now doing. Friday’s edition of Newsnight debated at great length the culpability of the editor of Newsnight in scrapping a documentary about Jimmy Savile. Meanwhile, the Have I Got News For You team took the executive decision not to say anything funny at all, but instead to pour sanctimony over the same issue – while explaining the reasoning behind having Jimmy Savile on Have I Got News For You a long time ago. When I woke up on Saturday morning it was to hear the former chairman of the BBC, Sir Christopher Bland, being quizzed by Justin Webb on the Today programme about whether the current director general of the BBC was a half-wit, or something. The BBC has become like one of those forlorn nematode worms which stabs itself to death with its own penis.