Pseudospeak

‘What we have to facilitate is a bottom-up approach.’

In Competition No. 2464 you were invited to provide a specimen of ministerial waffle.

‘What we have to facilitate is a bottom-up approach.’ When I heard those words come out of the mouth of Ruth Kelly (could she really have been Secretary of State for Education?), I knew we had a competition. I am grateful to Virginia Price Evans for drawing my attention to ‘bafflegab’, defined in Chambers as ‘the professional logorrhoea of many politicians, officials and salespeople, characterised by prolix, abstract circumlocution and/or a profusion of abstruse technical terminology used as a means of persuasion, pacification or obfuscation.’ Dr Johnson rides again! The prizewinners, printed below, get £25 each, and the bonus fiver goes to Peter Gasson for a nice piece of balderdash.

This government is committed to reform of public services to match the best in the world, and as a minister I am personally passionate about achieving this goal. My pledge to you is that I will put in place the building blocks. I will set the direction of travel. With my officials I will develop toolkits to undertake a robust interrogation of our working practices. I will address issues around the resourcing and management of change. My objective is nothing less than a dynamic, top-performing, cutting-edge service, fit for purpose for the 21st century. My target is an enhanced customer experience which will empower all our stakeholders to access a wider and wider range of initiatives and opportunities. This government is about making choices. This government is about a vision for all the British people. It is a tremendous and exciting challenge, and one on which we will deliver!
Peter Gasson

This government has successfully continued to strive, year on year, not merely to level playing fields but to build on them, moving rapidly towards deliverability and literally touching the people at every point.