Real life | 11 April 2019

With very little expectation they would care, I sent an email to Mole Valley Conservatives.

It always amuses me, that name. It reminds me that in Ever Decreasing Circles the character played by Richard Briers worked at Mole Valley Valves. Martin Bryce, you may remember, was a narcissistic, obsessive, middle-aged man at the centre of a suburban community in Surrey. He was a relatively unsympathetic character, although Briers said it was his favourite sitcom role.

I suppose I have much in common with the miserable Bryce. Bitterly, I sent an email to Mole Valley Conservatives. ‘To whom it may concern: We didn’t leave the EU but I can leave You. I hereby renounce any connection with, support for, leafleting help or vote I have ever given the Conservative party and notify you of my intention never to vote for you or help you again and to campaign against the Tories in all elections. Yours disgusted…’

To my surprise I got a reply barely an hour later, quicker than any response I have ever had from an MP’s office. The gist of it was that the MP in question had received ‘a number of emails’ expressing a similar sentiment to mine. He wanted to emphasise his ‘own disappointment and displeasure at the events of yesterday. He will be passing his own objections and those of his local party members up to the top of the government and the party. In the meantime, he will continue to do everything possible to deliver a clean break with the EU as per the terms of the withdrawal agreement — and lobby to ensure that the deal on offer is not softened to include things such as a customs union.’