Real life | 25 January 2018

The vet who is unhappy that I cracked a joke about vets has received the backing of the British Veterinary Association.

This strangely brittle organisation, having nothing better to do, apparently, has put out a fantastically pious statement denouncing me for daring to joke that vets are expensive and that some seem keen to diagnose the worst-case scenario.

The BVA posted its statement on social media, an action that inevitably led to the usual snowflakestorm: how very dare I make fun of (fill in offended group)… Fine, asI said last week I’m happy to do away with humour if that’s what people want. Let’s just deal with the facts.

A young vet — not my usual one butI liked her very much — came to look at the swelling on Gracie’s leg and said it could be a suspensory ligament injury. I wanted to start from the premise that the injury wasto the tendon sheath, a less serious matter, and work up. So when she suggested she might have to poke and prod the pony with needles to do diagnostic nerve blocking I took umbrage. In the offending column, I joked about the expense, quipping that I would need my nerves blocking if the vet reacted in this way.

But the serious point that I didn’t make then, because it wasn’t funny, but I’ll make now, seeing as the BVA doesn’t appreciate my humour, is that my primary motivation was to make sure the pony did not go through more discomfort than absolutely necessary.

And when my usual vet came, he agreed it was reasonable to assume initially that this was a pull to the tendon sheath requiring no invasive diagnostics, just field rest then gentle rehabilitation exercise. If that didn’t work, we would investigate more serious options.