Melissa Kite Melissa Kite

Real life | 30 August 2018

When I made a joke about ragwort being like Islamic extremism, I expected someone to write in. I was fully braced for a complaint from a sympathiser of Islamic fundamentalism, saying look here, Missy, comparing our noble struggle to an invasive weed is beyond a joke.

However, the modern world has surpassed my expectations and I have, in fact, had a complaint from a sympathiser of ragwort accusing me of hate speech against another species. The tenor of his complaint is broadly: how very dare I compare ragwort to Islamic extremism, because this is inflammatory and likely to incite hatred towards ragwort.

I don’t think he’s joking. The charges against me are all set out in a very long, serious letter of complaint written in bullet points with salient quotes in italics, very much like a submission to a war crimes tribunal. The bones of his complaint (that’s a turn of phrase or idiom, sir. No need to write in again to say: ‘How dare she compare my complaint to bones!’ or perhaps ‘How dare she compare bones to my complaint!’) are as follows, and I quote:

Hate speech against other species

a) The use of prejudicial language — ‘infested’.

b) Implying that common ragwort is non-native.

c) The article is illustrated with a picture of Oxford ragwort, a non-native species, but not the species in question.

d) ‘You might say fewer moths is all well and good, seeing as you’re killing the darn things by the dozen with sprays to stop them eating your best outfits.’ None of the above species has ever eaten a thread of anyone’s outfit, so this is a dog-whistle for moth-hating.

e) Comparing ragwort to Islamic fundamentalism — ‘pulling up every last stalk of ragwort/Islamic fundamentalism’.

It’s good, isn’t it? I don’t think I did imply ragwort was non-native, but still, the idea that I’ve incited racism against a plant is pretty special.

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