‘Most of us are asleep most of the time,’ says Jamie Oliver in the new Sainsbury’s television commercial, possibly recorded before he went off to Italy with a film crew and production team for his much-needed break from the cameras. ‘Even when we shop we are sleep-shopping,’ he continues, ‘filling our trolleys with exactly the same things week in, week out.’ Christ, I thought, you’ve got a point there, James. That’s exactly what I do. I can go to the supermarket absolutely determined to not buy any of the stuff I usually buy but I still somehow manage to come home with all the stuff I always buy. ‘There’s a million meals to choose from so why eat the same ones again and again?’ Why indeed? ‘Do you remember the first time you ever tasted honey? Wouldn’t it be great to taste something new for the first time again? Use your imagination. Be adventurous. We’re not talking rocket science.’ He then grates some nutmeg on to his spaghetti bolognaise which, apparently, has resulted in sales of Sainsbury’s nutmeg jumping from 1,400 jars a week to 6,000. I believe that is a rise of 430 per cent. I worked that out myself. It’s not rocket science. It’s not even rocket salad, for which we must be thankful, as there is nothing as dull as rocket.
Anyway, the ad ends on this entreaty: ‘Cook something different today.’ Right, I think, I bloody will. But what? I realise now that — much like everyone else, I hope — I have a very limited repertoire. If, in our house, it’s not pasta, it’s something else that’s boring, like chops with vegetables and potatoes and if it’s not that, then it’s something just as boring, like a bit of fish with veg and potatoes and if it’s not that, it’s the Delia Smith recipe for barbecue chicken legs that I do over and over and over and over …oh, it’s all so boring.
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