Rod Liddle: What I’d like to see in the Budget

• A new National Minimum Wage of £8.80 per hour, both in London and beyond. Plenty of money set aside to police this arrangement.
• Four per cent stamp duty for all homes over £250,000, two per cent for all those under. We need to dampen down the housing market which has again become absurd.
• 60 per cent taxation on all incomes over £200,000.
• Cap on CEO pay to no more than 12 times the pay of their lowest employee.
• Re-nationalisation of the utilities and railways.
• Cut in subsidy to local councils of 98 per cent and a cap on the amount of money they can raise in council tax. Just empty the bins and shut up. Oh, actually – yes. Empty the bin, singular. You want to sort out the rubbish, you do it.
• Cancellation of all money paid by central government to the third sector. If we wish to donate, we will.
• Duty on cigarettes and alcohol reduced to whatever it is in Moldova or Slovakia, whichever is lowest. I accept that this is a purely selfish aspiration.
• An end to subsidies for windfarms. A budget of £1bn put aside for dismantling existing windfarms.
• Remember the bonfire of the quangos? Wouldn’t have been able to barbecue a marshmallow on that one. Cull 80 per cent of all quangos randomly, by sticking a pin in a list. And see how we get on without them.
• Overseas aid donations limited henceforth to countries which seem to like us, and support our aims. Whatever they are.

And that’s for starters……………

On the evening of Wednesday 19 March 2014, Fraser Nelson, James Forsyth and Andrew Neil will be discussing what George Osborne’s 2014 budget means. Click here to book tickets.