Royal filler

Royal filler
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Prince Charles told it like it is when he was hijacked by the royal baby press pack this morning: ‘Absolutely nothing at the moment, we're waiting’.

Others, though, are not so patient. The BBC is excelling itself: this is a royal occasion so it must provide hours of vapid commentary, conveyed in hushed tones. It’s a thankless task, as newsanchor Simon McCoy made clear on air:

'Plenty more to come from here, none of it news of course, but that won't stop us... Let's speculate, because that's all we can do.'

Over on Sky News, Kay Burley is the real queen of days like this: ‘I asked how many centimetres…but they said it's not the kind of info they give out’. When Sky’s Royal Correspondent received a call on his mobile, the tension was palpable: ‘Paul, you just had a call on your mobile. Was it a tip-off?’ ‘No, it was PPI’.

David Cameron was quick to get in on the action, offering: ‘best wishes to them, a very exciting occasion and the whole country is excited with them. So, everyone's hoping for the best.’ And if that was not sufficient, the PM’s spokesman made sure journalists really got the message: ‘He's looking forward to the birth, as we all are’.

Mr Steerpike, for one, hopes that this will be a short labour; he’s heard everything he needs to hear about the use of nutrient rich coconut water on maternity wards for one day.

Written bySteerpike

Steerpike is The Spectator's gossip columnist, serving up the latest tittle tattle from London and beyond. Email tips to