Scottish question

In Competition No. 2848 you were invited to submit a poem commenting on Scottish independence in the style of William Topaz McGonagall.

McGonagallesque long lines leave me space only to congratulate you on a vast and skilful entry before handing over to the man himself, hailed by the TLS as ‘the only truly memorable bad poet in our language’.

Ralph Rochester takes the extra fiver; the rest nab £35.

Bounteous Heavens, let us all rejoice!
For the People of Scotland have been given a
    Choice
And there is to be a National Referendum
For which we must thank the Scottish
    Nationalists and London.
But how many will vote No and how many will
    vote Yes
Only God knows though other clever People
    may guess
And I think a terrible Excitement will have
    mounted
Until all the Votes of the People have been
    carefully counted.
 
And if the People of Scotland should say Yes
There will be much Joy and Happiness.
For Scotland will be independent, which it has
    not been
Since good Queen Anne was Britain’s Queen
Which was a very long Time ago.
But if the people of Scotland should say No
Then I suppose there will just be many Years
    more
Very much the same as they have been before.
Ralph Rochester
 
Oh! historic decision, momentous referendum,
Which in 2015 will set for the people of Scotland
    a tricky conundrum.
Though some for the whole business will not
    give a toss
Others will deliberate where on the ballot paper
    to put a cross.
From Highlands and Lowlands, both high and
    low
Should indicate whether they want the status
    quo,
Or our ancient ties with England and the Crown
    they desire to break,
Which I opine would surely be the greatest
    mistake.
And if for independence the winning vote is yes
Then, whatever Salmond says, there likely will
    be an economic mess.
In considering a situation where many are
    undecided
It is not a poet’s position to appear one-sided,
But I will remain as I have always fervently been
A devoted subject of her most gracious Majesty
    the Queen,
And whatever happens it would be seriously
    immoral
Not to let her keep the beautiful Royal
    Residence of Balmoral.