Season’s greetings | 11 December 2014

In Competition No. 2877 you were invited to submit a Christmas round robin as it might have been written by a well-known fictional character. Most of the entries were bursting with forced jocularity, but Basil Ransome-Davies, with an unusually frank Jeeves, neatly subverts the round-robin tradition of presenting a relentlessly positive face to the world. Meanwhile, John Samson’s Phileas Fogg takes holiday bragging to a whole new level, thereby earning the festive fiver. His fellow winners take £25. Happy Christmas, one and all!
 

Where have all the days gone? I know where 80 went! But lost count of number of ships, trains and wind-powered sledges(!) I’ve taken this year. Fabulous world tour. All in less than three months. A record? You bet! Staff change at Fogg Towers saw the arrival of Passepartout. So very proud of his achievements in French. He’s such a practical joker. Pretended to be a corpse on a funeral pyre in India then sat up! Natives fled terrified, while I ran off with (big news alert!) the future Mrs F. Yes, Aouda and I married a day earlier than we thought. For Best Man it was a delicate choice between faithful P and a Mr Fix who followed us everywhere. No honeymoon planned. How could we top being mobbed by native Americans? Or should that be topped by a mob! Anyway, burnt our boat rather getting home in time.
John Samson
 
The twelvemonth approaching expiration affords us multifarious causes for reflexion. One blessing undiluted has been the constancy of my dear wife and helpmeet. Mrs Micawber, never entirely free from the oppressions of uncertain health, has been assiduous in her devotions at the domestic altar. Beneath her sheltering wing our offspring have flourished ‘as the green bay tree’. Master Wilkins has embellished his gift for vocal melody while Miss Emma has been daily transforming into the very impress of her mother’s virtues.