Sir Keir’s shouting beats Rishi’s stats at PMQs

Crumbling concrete dominated PMQs. Sir Keir climbed to his feet and announced in sepulchral tones that most of Britain’s schools are likely to be flattened by the first stiff breeze of autumn. He gave an example, from May 2018, of a primary school that suddenly imploded ‘over the weekend, and thankfully no children were injured’. He used lurid tabloid language to hammer home his point: ‘Children are cowering under steel supports that stop their classroom from falling in.’

How awful. Buildings we thought were permanent turn out to be flimsy pop-up structures that are apt to collapse faster than a Labour council’s credit rating. Sir Keir blamed it all on Rishi’s fiscal incompetence and Rishi countered with decent arguments that are unlikely to cut through. However, no one mention the upside. This isn’t a crisis but a glorious turning point in Britain’s cultural history. Most newly erected buildings are brutalist eye sores so the disappearance of a few concrete monstrosities counts as a win for the communities they blight.