So, can we expect Channel 4 to broadcast a C of E call to prayer?

It is very lucky for the BBC that Channel 4 exists. Whatever imbecilic, supposedly attention-grabbing trash the BBC commissions, there will always be its commercial rival around to commission something still more imbecilic, still more trashy. Such as — if you remember — ‘Wank Week’, a series exploring the manifest delights of masturbation. Having gained sufficient exposure with this proposal, the series was eventually — er — pulled. But you can imagine the witless commissioning editors sitting around telling each other what an edgy and brilliant idea it all was.

And then there’s politics. However cringingly bien-pensant, politically correct and, paradoxically, politically partisan the BBC may be from time to time, it will always be easily outflanked on the metro-liberal white middle-class faux-left by Channel 4. If the Beeb’s John Simpson decides not to wear a black tie when some royal has just died then, never fear, over on Channel 4 the magnificently smug Jon Snow will be telling the world that millions died in two world wars to protect his freedom not to wear a poppy, m’kay?

The suspicion persists that over at Channel 4, in the commissioning departments, it is forever Wank Week. A perpetual circle jerk of low-achieving white middle-class males tugging away like there’s no tomorrow. The latest spurt of fatuity comes from its Head of Factual Programming, a very pleased-with-himself little semi-bearded monkey called Ralph Lee. Ralph has ordained that the channel will be broadcasting the Adhan — the Muslim call to prayer — every morning for the month of Ramadan. I had expected them to do something special for Ramadan, but I rather hoped it would be commissioning four special — if rather brief — editions of their (comparatively) popular programme Come Dine With Me. ‘And what’s on your menu tonight, Tariq?’ ‘Nothing.