Bill Greenwell Neuter genders are declared at birth; Oceans empty, seasides are extended;
Skinny’s out. A whistle welcomes girth, The fat are fêted; diets are suspended.
Religions blend: one God becomes another. As graveyards overflow, cremation’s law.
Dictatorships decide who was your mother. All email melts (what no man can restore).
Mammon is a gameshow. Churches fail. Undead, the Queen outlives the Prince of Wales.
Sofa bargains hog the Easter sales.
D.A. Prince Norfolk is washed away in freak high tide; Obesity’s the national badge of pride; Storms and El Nino flatten half of Wales; Train lines in France are blocked by giant snails; Russia starts all-out war on state librarians; America bans nuts and vegetarians; Drought wipes the humble olive off the earth And decimates the struggling euro’s worth; Mosquitoes grow immune to pesticide (Uzbekistan’s the only place to hide.) Sunspots turn frenzied and the Earth is fried.
Chris O’Carroll New flags, new faiths tell less truth than we need. Oppression wears the mantle of goodwill. Serenity succumbs as cities bleed. Theology becomes our cheapest thrill. Radiant hope attends the darkest deed. Assassins pray for yet more gods to kill.
Division and subtraction rule the day; Addition has no space to multiply. Mendacity and greed keep truth at bay Until the springs of arrogance run dry. Sages who speak in riddles still hold sway.
Basil Ransome-Davies News from future world events: Osama has risen, Something Trump has said makes sense, Tony Blair’s in prison. Roy’s lads reach the knockout stage; Arsène squares the circle. Dalai Lama’s jealous rage As Putin marries Merkel. Murdoch spins and pulls the strings, Ups the ante, runs the rings: Some things are eternal.
W.J. Webster Nets will intertwine to make One vast, all-comprehending trawl Some will strive but none shall break The mesh that will entangle all.
Replacing human wit and skill Automata the more progress: Diabolic schemes will fill A vacuum formed by idleness.
Most fearsome of the fates I see, Unimaginably dark, Shall be this last catastrophe:-
Brian Murdoch New measure will be found to stamp out crime. On newly-furbished railways, every train Shall, guided by computers, run on time. The NHS will start to work again.
Robots will service all our worldly needs. Airports will ban those endless fenced-off queues. Dictators will repent of all their deeds, And Amazon will pay their fiscal dues.
Most of each summer, Britain will stay dry Under a carbon-neutral friendly sky. Scots will get independence. Pigs will fly.
Robert Schechter Never is the new now. Oval is the new round. Surrender is the new how. Tossed away, the new found. Running is the new walk, Argument the new talk, Daytime is the new night, Anthems are the new psalm, Murky is the new bright, Urgent is the new calm. Somehow all this serves us right.
Alanna Blake Not much certain in the stars: Order, chaos, earthly wars, Summer snows and winter drought Turning climates inside out. Refugees a grave addendum, Ayes or Noes for referendum. Death picks off some rich and mighty, April sees a Queen turn ninety. Monthly moons and not one blue, Unsurpassed space station view Shows our world its self anew.
We’ve done this for prose but not for poetry. Your next challenge is to provide up to 16 lines of verse that are the fruit of a collaboration between two well-known poets, living or dead (please specify). Please email entries, wherever possible, to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 20 January.
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