Lucy Vickery

Spectator competition: Decide what Leigh Hunt’s Jenny did next (plus oblique cooking with Yoko Ono)

As if there weren’t enough recipe books in the world, the latest assignment challenged competitors to invent a title for yet another one, with a fresh angle, and supply a publisher’s blurb. A quick trawl of the web reveals that there is already stiff competition out there. The Star Wars Cookbook (may the sauce be with you) and Cooking in the Nude both caught my eye, and those of you who suggested a roadkill-based approach have been beaten to it by Buck Peterson, who published The Original Road Kill Cookbook in the mid-Eighties (yours, on Amazon, for under a fiver). Commendations go to D.A. Prince, Tracy Davidson, Sylvia Fairley and Nicholas Stone, who get applause if not cash. The winners, printed below, pocket £30 each. Adrian Fry takes £35.

Adrian Fry ‘Television freed cuisine from the tyranny of the palate,’ writes chef Preston Emmental in his Foreword to Conceptualist Cooking, ‘replacing it with the tyranny of the eye. I devise feasts for the mind.’ Abandoning the constraints of traditional kitchencraft for the stratagems of the modern artist, Emmental here presents, among much else, a necessarily abridged recipe for Everything Pie, an irresistibly enticing yet inedible Dadaist Razorblade Stew, a Not Kedgeree owing more to Duchamp than to haddock or rice and a dish produced using oblique instructions from Yoko Ono, the ingredients of which include one smile, 11 cumulonimbus clouds and a grapefruit. As the book progresses, Emmental outlines his theories; dinner guests are a bourgeois irrelevance, situationism a valid defence for kitchen tantrums and the apartheid against serving non-food items is definitively confounded by quicksilver soup with iron filing croutons. Ground-breaking to the end, the book will leave you ravenous.

Bill Greenwell Skippity Doodah and Other Treats Waste not, want not, that’s what our folks said.

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