Lucy Vickery

Spectator competition winners: crossing a haiku with a limerick

We already have short-form hybrids such as the clerihaiku (here’s one from Mary Holtby):

Peter Palumbo Cries, ‘Mumbo-jumbo!’ and rails At the Prince of Wales

And the limeraiku:

A haiku will do For a limerick trick, called A Limeraiku

That was by Arthur P. Cox. And now clever Bill Webster, veteran competitor, has come up with the haikick, a new version of the haiku-limerick combination. You responded to the call for topical haikicks with your customary vim and wit, and drew on such notables as William Spooner, Abraham Lincoln and Jeremys Clarkson and Paxman. The winners below are rewarded with a tenner per entry printed.

Hugh King Abraham Lincoln Once made America great, When showing the place That honour and grace Held at the heart of the state.

Kim Brennan Jeremy Paxman, who once grilled MPs on toast, chucked the third degree and retired to be an upmarket quiz show host.

Gary Lineker, football player, then chatter, tweets Guardiloo views on what’s in the news and seems to think they matter.

G.M Davis Margaret Thatcher Must be restless in the tomb As Theresa May, Going runaway, Leads the nation to its doom.

Robert Schechter George W. Bush Is someone I used to diss. ‘He’s like Forrest Gump,’ I cried. Now, with Trump, He’s someone I somehow miss.

Basil Ransome-Davies Vladimir Putin Is a devil in disguise. You’ll see if you trace The lines of his face He’s got secret policeman’s eyes.

Jeremy Corbyn: Ooh, there’s a difficult man. His heart is quite pure, But nobody’s sure Whether the man has a plan.

Frank McDonald Nicola Sturgeon Is a lass who loves stating What fun it would be If Scotland were free. She’s a lady in waiting.

Philip Machin Margaret Beckett Nominated Corbyn to Be Labour leader Alas dear reader A most silly thing to do.

Alan Millard William Spooner Would certainly not admire MPs all at war And, cocked to the shore, He’d think they’d all gone way hire.

D.A. Prince Jeremy Clarkson behaved in ways unruly so the BBC sent him (less his fee) off to ultima thule.

Rob Stuart Vladimir Putin May have influenced voters Into electing A truth-neglecting Russian asset as POTUS.

David Silverman Pep Guardiola: King of Catalonia! He’ll come out on top, Ahead of Herr Klopp — Of the two, the moanier.

Andrew Wilcox Theresa M. May Worked out a compromise pact: To leave the EU While remaining too. No good, whichever you backed.

David Duncan Jones Michael O’Leary Flies you to many places Much cheaper than chips, As long as your trips Don’t involve any cases!

Brian Allgar Jeffrey P. Bezos, The multi-billionaire whizz, Complains of blackmail. It seems it’s a Tale Of Two Peckers. (One is his.)

Your next challenge is to submit a recently discovered lost poem by a well-known poet which make us see him or her in a new light. Please email (wherever possible) entries (16 lines maximum) to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 13 March.

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