Spectator competition winners: poems for a qwerty keyboard

In Competition No. 3174 you were invited to write a poem in which each line begins with the letters A S D F G H J K L Z X C V B N M, in that order.

One entry began: ‘Asinine/ Stupid/ Dumb/ Fatuous…’, and continued in a similar vein; a comment, perhaps, on my decision to set this comp. But despite the rumbles of discontent, the challenge produced a terrific showing: varied, witty and technically accomplished. Honourable mentions go to Shawn Chang, Hugh King, R.M. Goddard and Brian Murdoch. In a hotly contested week, the winners below snaffle £25 each.

Auden loved a dying fall,Spender not so much.Dryden was — well, rather dry, Frost wall-eyed and such. Ginsberg? Whitman’s long-lost son,Howling like a pup. Joyce sold Pomes Penyeach.Keats bigged beauty up.  Lowell sinned, confessed in verse, Zapped by drugs and drink.X-certificate VerlaineCreated quite a stink. Vaughan was holy, isn’t it?Byron deeply not.Noyes annoys when not just dull.Milton tops the lot.Basil Ransome-Davies

An archetype too weird to work —Setting off with Q not A —Destined just to fade awayForgotten as a cranky quirk.Granted that it was so flawed,How did that order of the keysJog gently on with perfect ease,Knocking rivals off the board?Look how it rose above so much —Zany Letrasetting whimsy,Xerox, carbon paper, flimsy,Computers turning tap to touch…Veteran as a typing toolBut ever for adopting change,No way now disdained as strange,May QWERTY’s layout always rule!W.J. Webster

Across the qwerty keyboard of my heartStrike digits briskly spelling out desire,Desire your smallest tap-tap will jump-start,For your touch is the type my nerves require. Good loving is a nimble-fingered game.Have at me with your practice and precision,Jolt me in high-speed bursts with pinpoint aim,Key in coordinates for sweet collision. Let orthographical dexterityZestfully spell allure in every line,X-rating to the last extremity,Collating your adult consent with mine. Vistas of romance open to your skill.Bonanzas