Spectator competition winners: ‘To be or not to be’: an answer to this and other famous literary questions

‘Do androids dream of electric sheep?’; ‘What porridge had John Keats?’; ‘And is there honey still for tea?’ Your answers to these, and a host of other literary questions, were skilful and ingenious, so congratulations all round. Two admirably pithy responses to Hamlet’s famous dilemma came courtesy of Carolyn Beckingham:

‘To be, or not to be: that is the question.’ ‘If you’re not certain, wait,’ is my suggestion. The choice to live can be reversed at will; You can’t say that about the choice to kill.

And Dr Bob Turvey:

When Hamlet first posed his old question, Suicide was not worth a suggestion. Because, at the time, ’Twas considered a crime; Dignitas now allows its selection.

And there was much to enjoy elsewhere in a large, lively and varied entry. Bill Greenwell takes the bonus fiver, the rest earn £25.

Bill Greenwell Silvia’s a familiar fraud, Perpetual to men —

Idealised, and much adored, And worshipped if she’s from abroad, When subject to man’s pen:

As firm of curve as avocado! As fresh as ripening peach! To any swell, she’s El Dorado — Deneuve, Moreau, Loren and Bardot — Perfected, out of reach.

Nary need to know Verona To mansplain her domains: The dream of every careless owner, To every dog a constant boner — Thus Silvia to swains.

John Whitworth When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning or in rain Or wait until the weather’s better?

When shall we three meet again? Shall we catch the stopping train? Or communicate by letter?

When shall we three meet again? Shall we take an aeroplane To Vienna or Valletta?

When shall we three meet again? Shall we go to Dunsinane Or would Basingstoke be better?

When shall we three meet again? People think we’re quite insane.