Lucy Vickery

Spectator competition winners: topical sea shanties

‘A hapless blonde mermaid declared Vaccine War/ Way aye jab the man’s arm…’ Credit: Getty Images/Paul Popper/Popperfoto 
issue 27 February 2021

In Competition No. 3187 you were asked to provide a sea shanty on a topical theme.

This challenge was an invitation to follow in the slipstream of Nathan Evans, the postal worker and TikTokker whose rendition of the 19th-century whaling song ‘The Wellerman’ went viral and gave rise to #ShantyTok.

Among the multiple variations on ‘What shall we do with the unused Pfizer!’, Hugh King, Richard Spencer and Alanna Blake stood out, as did John Priestland’s homage to Handforth planning committee’s magisterial Jackie Weaver (‘There’s Councillor Brian disrupting the meeting,/ Way aye, kick him off Zoom!’) and Alan Millard’s to Captain Tom. The winners take £30 each.

What can we do with our Scottish shellfish,Sitting on the quay, turning grisly smell-squish?Dump the lot on London as a meal-from-Hell dishOutside Number 10, ho?       Heave-ugh, nowhere to store it,      Heave-ugh, we’ll have to floor it,      Heave-ugh, there’s nothing for it,      All on Number 10, ho. What

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