Stop “Stoptober”! It’s another insidious attack on liberty and free will

Say what you like about the French Revolutionaries but at least they had a poetic imagination. When they wanted a new name for October, they anticipated Keats and named the season of mists and mellow fruitfulness ‘Brumaire’, meaning ‘foggy’. Which is a lot more evocative, I think we can agree, than its current incarnation under the new politically correct Terror: Stoptober.

Stoptober. Geddit? That’s ‘-ober’, as in the second half of ‘October’, with the word ‘Stop’ cunningly positioned where the ‘Oct’ would normally be. And what marketing genius was responsible for this rebranding? Why, someone from an Orwellian body which you’d probably much prefer didn’t exist, let alone to have to fund with your taxes. Public Health England.

So far, according to the official Stoptober website, more than a quarter of a million people have signed up to the pledge. Instead of doing what any normal person would — numbing the miseries of the end of summer by upping their consumption of booze, nicotine and suchlike — they have vowed to ruin their entire month with cravings, irritability, mood swings, restless fingers, insomnia and boredom by giving up smoking for 28 days.

Here’s one of the alleged participants, explaining his motivation: ‘I gave up smoking cos it’s really bad for your kids’ health to smoke with them in the back of the car. So when I quit the ciggies it felt great to be able to drive the kids around without ’em on the roof rack.’

His name is ‘Lee Nelson’ which, I learn from the interweb, is the alter ego of a former medical doctor turned stand-up comedian called Simon Brodkin. Is it just me — or is observational stand-up not what it used to be? I mean, comedy, I thought was a) meant to challenge the nanny state’s authority not endorse it b) impart some truth about the world (yeah right, smoking in cars with children in the back is, like, totally one of the great issues of our time, about which we all agonise A LOT) and c) be funny.