Tales of cocaine, teachers’ edition

A Welsh bloke who snorted half of Bolivia up his nostrils has been told he can carry on his chosen profession – that of a teacher. Huw Davies, who is also a Conservative councillor – which one assumes is how he acquired his stash of gak – was sacked by Brynteg Comprehensive School after being convicted of possession of cocaine, but the General Teaching Council has said he is free to work in any other school.

The GTC has struck off precisely 20 teachers in the last 12 years; I think, to incur their wrath, a teacher would need to strangle the children and feed them into a woodchipper, cackling madly. That being said, I would happily act as a mule, importing several kilos of Charlie in little plastic sacks hidden up my bottom, to keep in supply any teacher who could spell properly, add up and exert a bit of discipline. And also teach them the times tables and so on.