Test cricket and the Archers are both in deep trouble

Lions and weasels

The Archers and Test cricket: words you rarely find in the same sentence and more’s the pity as there’s not much else that can give greater innocent pleasure. But could these magnificent institutions be in the midst of some existential crisis? On peaceful old radio, the writers seem devoted to purging The Archers of the Archers: David, Ruth and Jill could be junking Brookfield for Northumberland, Tom Archer hasn’t been seen in Ambridge since that unfortunate incident in the vestry; Elizabeth should be hounded out soon for sexual witchcraft; and then there’ll be just Shula and Kenton.

Pretty much like international cricket, which is being stripped of some of its performers. Remember the West Indies? In the 1980s and early ’90s, they were the best team. Now they have abandoned their tour of India in a shambles over money and might not play Test cricket again.

Pakistan haven’t played at home since 2009 and are losing support. They are playing in Dubai and have whacked Australia by 221 runs, with Younis Khan scoring a century in both innings. How sad that so few saw such a game. Meanwhile, New Zealand tailor their schedule to when the Indian Premier League will let them have their players.

Zimbabwe are flaky and Bangladesh uncompetitive, although they have just finished a fascinating Test which might signal the future. Bangladesh won by three wickets in Dhaka, chasing just 101. They lost their first three wickets before a run was on the board, giving the bracing scoreline of 0-3. But is it a good thing that a Test is over in three days, thrilling though it may be? Or will the public soon prefer that to a five-day boreathon on a dead wicket? Heaven help us.