Mark Mason has narrated this article for you to listen to.
Sometimes it’s the only word that will do. Every journalist at Max Verstappen’s press conference last month understood him perfectly when he said his car was ‘fucked’, the adjective chosen not to convey mechanical failings but rather Verstappen’s emotions. But the Formula 1 authorities were displeased, and the driver has been punished.
Perhaps the FIA should listen to Billy Connolly. The comedian is a fan of the f-word, relishing its harsh consonants. He maintains there simply isn’t a polite equivalent to match it: ‘“Go away” just dissipates.’
Of course you can take it too far. Scattergun swearing is tedious, the words losing their power with each repetition. But sparing, well-timed use of an expletive or two can be hugely effective. As Connolly’s fellow comedian Arthur Smith argues, it’s absurd to describe swearing as ‘bad language’. He reserves that label for ‘er’, ‘like’, ‘you know’ and so on.
Richard Nixon’s prudishness actually harmed his reputation even further than it already had been. He insisted that pro-fanities in the transcribed Watergate tapes be replaced with ‘expletive deleted’, even though many were only ‘hell’.
Broadcasters are understandably nervous about swearing. But even there, viewers are usually more relaxed than you might think. In 1959, Ulster TV conducted a live teatime interview with the man whose job it was to paint the riverside railings in central Belfast. There were so many that as soon as he’d finished at one end, he had to start again at the other. The interviewer asked if the job ever got boring. ‘Of course it’s fucking boring,’ came the reply. The horrified producer awaited the call informing him of his dismissal. But in the end the total number of complaints received was zero.
Surely the c-word has more serious consequences? A disbelieving production team on a Radio 4 arts programme once heard one of their contributors use it, during enthusiastic praise for a video installation which – in their view – symbolised a part of the female anatomy.
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