Julie Burchill Julie Burchill

The clown prince

It has long been my belief that whereas the quality of gentiles drawn to Judaism is very high (Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor, myself), the dregs are drawn to Islam. And leaving aside the dozy broads who gravitate to it for kinky reasons after watching one too many Turkish Delight ads (Vanessa Redgrave, Lauren Booth), there is something about this religion which attracts the very weakest of Western men.

We think of those often half-witted types who learn to build a bomb online. Then there are the imam-huggers of the left who never met a wife-beating mad mullah they didn’t like. A lot of the reason left-wing men seem to have so much time for Islamism is to do with suppressed feelings of resentment towards the march of feminism, which they could never in a million years admit to. Why, last year it was reported that the Yorkshire Ripper himself was about to take his place in this merry band.

This chain of fools would not be complete, of course, without its crowning clown, the Prince of Wales, whose liking for strolling around his ‘Islamic garden’ wearing a dishdasha and wittering on about wanting to be ‘Defender of Faiths’ have oft made me sing ‘God Save The Queen’ with especial emphasis. In the past I have ventured the opinion that he is fond of Islam because its monarchs are free to divorce unwanted wives at a whim. But a letter that came to light this week, written to his mentor Laurens van der Post in 1986 after a tour of Arab states, suggests that mistrust of Jews may be another reason for the heir apparent’s Islamophilia. Here are the humbuggy highlights:

‘Tried to read a bit of the Quran on the way out and it gave me some insight into the way they [Arabs] think…’ (That ‘tried’ really inspires confidence, doesn’t it?) ‘Much admire some aspects of Islam — especially accent on hospitality and accessibility of rulers…’ (Damn human rights — here’s a whole roasted sheep, get stuck in.)

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