The Covid pantomime at my father’s memorial

This last weekend I attended the memorial service for my father, who died in July. This isn’t a bid for sympathy. Everyone’s father dies; most of us expect to suffer our bereavements in private; you didn’t know him. But in a larger sense, this is a bid for sympathy. That is, sympathy for us all.

Beforehand, Riverside Church — a grand, storied edifice on Manhattan’s Upper West Side — had sent out an email circular to prospective attendees. Perhaps recipients might have anticipated a ministerial reaching out: ‘We treasured Dr Shriver’s membership of our congregation, and Riverside’s clerics wish to convey our sorrow at your loss. We regard his passing as our loss, too.’ Or even: ‘At times of mourning, it’s vital for those left behind to experience closeness and community, and we are glad to provide a venue for this fortifying togetherness.’ But no.

The advisory was stern, chiding and chilly, full of underscoring and capital letters. ‘1. EACH ATTENDEE MUST BE FULLY VACCINATED against the COVID-19 virus and MUST PRESENT PROOF OF VACCINATION to the security personnel who will screen each attendee.

‘2. EACH ATTENDEE MUST WEAR ACCEPTABLE FACE COVERINGS* which in all cases cover both the nose and the mouth throughout all activities and services; facial coverings are removed only during those specific times when actively engaging in a service as a designated speaker or performer and must be replaced as soon as such activity is completed.

‘3. Each attendee must observe other rules of social distancing and protection, including: a) Congregants will sit in proximity only to intimate social groupings, otherwise will “socially distance”, sitting at least 6ft from other groups of persons. b) Congregants will NOT sing (as singing is known to more actively spread virus), rather will follow along with designated singer or singers, and c) Congregants will take care to avoid all unnecessary physical contact.’