The EU has banned a miracle cure for laminitis

Once upon a time, in a country that didn’t run itself, a horse supplement company invented a cure for laminitis.

This cure, let’s call it LamiSafe, was like the holy grail of horse-care products because when administered to ponies who previously went lame on lush summer grass, LamiSafe prevented lameness and the pony was suddenly once again able to graze safely.

I bought this miracle product after my farrier recommended it and, though sceptical at first, for I have rarely found a supplement of any kind that did what it said on the tin, I was amazed to find that it worked.

Gracie, the skewbald pony, was suddenly as sound as a pound in a limited grazing paddock even though she is the greediest little pony in the west and can stuff her face until she’s lame on the smallest amount of grass.

‘Hallelujah! Behold a miracle,’ I told my farrier when he next came to shoe her and found her tip-top. I bought bottle after bottle of the stuff, administering a dose each morning in her feed and Gracie thrived in her paddock for the first summer I could remember — and as difficult conditions of sun and rain produced ever more fresh grass.

I told all my horsey friends about the miracle: a cure for laminitis that didn’t involve stabling the pony had been found at last.

In fact, I would go further. I think the product cured the underlying systemic malfunction that is increasingly thought to be behind a lot of laminitis, namely equine metabolic syndrome. This baffling condition stops some ponies from metabolising sugar to the extent that even if they are not overweight, the sugar in grass still accumulates and inflames the soft laminae in their feet. Even though Gracie is as fit as a fiddle, she develops strange fat pockets round her rump and in her neck.