Susan Hill Susan Hill

I’m sick of people patronising Captain Sir Tom Moore

Plus: the genius of Alfred Hitchcock

(Photo: Getty)

Nobody earns the right to respect just by having lived into old age, whenever that begins — it has happened by chance and by virtue of having dodged a few bullets. But everyone has the right to be treated with good manners and kindness by those with any power over them — even prisoners and toddlers having pyrotechnical tantrums. Mostly, politeness and consideration are forthcoming. It is always a shock if a bank clerk, dentist or traffic cop are brusque, perhaps because it is so rare.

Still, I can stand rudeness more easily than I can tolerate being patronised, something older people encounter regularly. When Colonel Sir Tom Moore raised millions for NHS charities, everyone cheered and no one was rude about him, but my goodness was he patronised! Because he is a little bent, uses a walking frame and has reached his centenary, he was both described and addressed as if he were a little child — the dear old soul, bless him. If you are 70 in a hospital you too will become a dear old soul, bless you, and addressed in a louder voice.

It was once the norm for patients to be called by their first name and those who were known by another one had to lump it. My father was christened Ronald Herbert, but known as Roy from birth. When a nurse called him Ronald, he did not reply, thinking they were talking to someone else. ‘Uncooperative’ went down on his notes. Then it was decided that patients should be asked what they wanted to be called. A small thing, but quite important.

‘Oh god, he’s sounding really feeble.’

A much bigger thing, and very important, are tone of voice and attitude, and my family has experienced instances of both the right and the very wrong this week.

Already a subscriber? Log in

Keep reading with a free trial

Subscribe and get your first month of online and app access for free. After that it’s just £1 a week.

There’s no commitment, you can cancel any time.

Or

Unlock more articles

REGISTER

Comments

Don't miss out

Join the conversation with other Spectator readers. Subscribe to leave a comment.

Already a subscriber? Log in