The human factor

Successful programmes often become bloated, and MasterChef (BBC1, Wednesday) is headed that way. They are now increasingly focused on the human interest rather than the food. What a long way it has come from the days of Loyd Grossman, and his catchphrase ‘deliberated, cogitated and digested’ as he contemplated some appalling dish of liver in a gooseberry jus, served with individual mackerel and yam pavlovas. In those days contestants were hoping to prepare a half-decent dinner party; now they want their lives changed.

I am sure many lives are changed, though most winners seem to disappear, from our ken, at any rate. But the hype is needed to evince the emotion. Contestants weep with gratitude if they make the last 20; others weep if they fail. There was a woman called Josie in this week’s starting episode. Her eyes were damp with tears as she plucked and pleaded to be kept on. ‘Baht — you’ve got lumps in your mashed potater!’ said shouty Greg Wallace in the manner of Torquemada spotting a new heresy.

‘I promise, promise it’s not usually like that, promise, just starting-up nerves, I’ll be fine from now on, promise,’ the poor woman begged. The pair threw her out anyway and moody music struck up as the camera held a close-up on her distraught, wet face. She left the room and John buried his head in his hands. Engulfed by her grief? Or stifling a laugh? I thought that showing the incident and the woman’s misery was nasty and exploitative.

Here’s my suggestion: they could get viewers to vote, as in The X Factor and Strictly Come Dancing. This would allow them to bring in well-loved celebrities who can’t cook, whose dishes would be spat out by the judges, but who would be voted back every week regardless.