The immigration game

The Fake Sheikh, Mazher Mahmood, has a good wee scoop in the News of the World today. The papers’ reporters posed as would-be immigrants, and heard immigration advisers tell them how to game the system. The quotes speak best for themselves.
 
1. Official from the International Immigration Advisory Service in Manchester. “Floods have come in Pakistan. Say you have lost your family and your home. That’s the best story I can see … Just get me a few photos of the floods and we can say your relatives drowned and your home is gone. The British are very sympathetic.”
 
2. The same official, to a second undercover reporter. “Find a European girl and marry her. Within four weeks, you’ll have permission to work here and within six months you’ll get a visa for five years. Then we’ll divorce this wife and bring your wife and kids over. Problem sorted.”
 
3. Official at a London law firm. “Find a girl to marry. If not a girl, then find a boy – I’m not joking. But the other guy has to be legal. Just show how long you have been in a relationship – have a few photographs. Arms round each other, perhaps. It’s not too difficult. It has to be someone who knows you a bit. He has to fill in a form. I will make it up myself.”