As we approach with anticipation or dread 14 February, the day we traditionally celebrate love and all things amorous, a certain demographic will instead be observing a rather less passionate and altogether more bland occasion: ‘Palentine’s Day’. Commemorated on 13 February, this is apparently the date upon which to honour platonic friendships instead of romantic engagements – and it’s proving increasingly popular among Generation Z.
It all started with ‘Galentine’s Day’, a celebration of female friendship invented by the character Leslie Knope in American political satire mockumentary Parks and Recreation in 2010. As the concept moved from comedy to real life it morphed into the gender-neutral ‘Palentine’s’ – lest anyone should feel left out. Now universities across the country are putting on events for the occasion, and card companies have reported a surge in the popularity of merchandise commemorating it. Sales of Palentine’s cards at online greetings company Thortful have increased from a few dozen in 2016 to tens of thousands today.
According to relationship expert Tautvydas Sutkus, many younger people take a dim view of Valentine’s Day on account of its ‘traditional, often exclusionary, focus on romantic relationships’. This alternative ‘allows them to celebrate their friends and the emotional bonds they share’. This development shouldn’t surprise us. ‘Palentine’s Day’ is fitting for a generation that is inclined to be puritanical and moralistic. It’s also an age group that’s seemingly resigned to settle for a safe, insipid and risk-free existence: Generation Z has become Generation Bland.
This day appeals to a demographic who have fewer sexual relationships than their predecessors did. According to Rutgers University, those aged between 18 and 23 are having 14 per cent less sex than the previous generation. The Palentine’s Day events at Manchester Metropolitan University’s student union include ‘speed friending’, while the University of the Arts London is organising activities including pot painting and making friendship bracelets – surely the antithesis of romantic ardour or erotic abandon.
Generation Z also learned from the millennials before them the need for ‘safe spaces’ and the necessity of ‘trigger warnings’ to protect them from words and opinions that might upset their fragile equilibrium. We see here one consequence of the embrace of vulnerability: a flight from the perilous choppy waters of romance and commitment and retreat into the sanctuary of risk-free friendship. Engagement on a platonic level, rather than romantic or erotic, is suited to a group who shun situations that might be upsetting or emotionally charged.
Annabelle Knight, a relationship expert at online sex shop Lovehoney, says Palentine’s Day is an antidote to a society in which ‘romantic relationships are often idealised above all else’. She told the Sunday Telegraph that it ‘also offers a more inclusive alternative to the often hetero-centralised and romantic-centric celebration of Valentine’s Day. It allows people who are single, members of the LGBTQ+ community, or anyone who doesn’t celebrate romantic love in a traditional sense to take part’.
‘Palentine’s Day’ is fitting for a generation that is inclined to be puritanical and moralistic
Johanna Mason of the dating app Cherry spoke of the benefit of this date in addressing another unmistakeably contemporary concern: ‘For someone who’s single, [Valentine’s Day] can serve as a reminder that you haven’t found that special person to share the day with, and that can really impact mental health.’
Among legions of Generation Z, an aversion to relationships, an ingrained sense of mental fragility and a fear of losing control has been replicated at large in a puritanical lifestyle. This is not only a demographic that has less sex than their parents did at their age, but drinks far less alcohol, eats less meat and consumes less tobacco. It’s also one ill-disposed to confrontational politics in general (unless it be on campus, where all can safely share the same opinions on Gaza or trans issues, without fear of being gainsaid). This is the generation that prefers the quiet life of consensus.
A recent poll showing an inclination in favour of dictatorship among Gen Z illustrates this tendency. Rather than exposing any fascistic or thuggish instincts, it demonstrates that this generation would prefer security over liberty; enforced conformity under a strong leader as opposed to noisy and offensive debate in an unstable democracy.
This shift in mood, this emergent desire to exchange liberty for security, usually occurs in times of economic and social worry and insecurity. And perhaps you can’t blame Gen Z for feeling this way, what with chronic job insecurity and the prospect of never being able to buy their own home. Still, they shouldn’t despair utterly. It would be a shame if they gave up entirely the idea of finding love in life.
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