Alec Marsh

The politics of topless sunbathing

  • From Spectator Life
[iStock]

I’m pretty certain that what I’m about to say is essentially unsayable. So here goes: we need to have a frank conversation about boobs. Bare boobs. Because on my recent holiday to Majorca, I have to confess to being a little astonished to see quite so many topless women on the beach.

But what a simple joy it was; old, young, lithe, voluminous, ponderous – there they were in all their glory, glistening or wilting in the sun, or simply splashing about in the sparkling water. Boobs.

I know, I know… as a straight, white, privately educated man in the raw good health of middle age this is not territory that I’m completely comfortable venturing into. And perhaps I shouldn’t. But I feel this needs to be said.

It couldn’t have been any more natural if David Attenborough was doing the voiceover

You see, I had assumed in our new age of Puritanism that something as old-fashioned as topless beach-going was now borderline verboten. It’s like dressing monkeys up to sell teabags or smoking in the car with your kids in the back: if it’s not been banned outright then it’s certainly frowned upon and only a couple of years away from attracting a custodial sentence. Even in France, where topless sunbathing was once de rigueur, over the past decade the number of women willing to do it has fallen by a third.

So imagine the joy at discovering that toplessness survives; like diminutive whalers heading out into the savage Arctic waters on boats hewn from logs to catch the last minke before doomsday, in at least one corner of the Mediterranean you’ll find ladies – many presumably still identifying as such – routinely venturing to the beach to swim and sunbathe topless.

Already a subscriber? Log in

Keep reading with a free trial

Subscribe and get your first month of online and app access for free. After that it’s just £1 a week.

There’s no commitment, you can cancel any time.

Or

Unlock more articles

REGISTER

Comments

Don't miss out

Join the conversation with other Spectator readers. Subscribe to leave a comment.

Already a subscriber? Log in