On a recent trip from London to New Delhi, I found out that an acquaintance I see once or twice a year had pulled out of her wedding just 24 hours before the ceremony. An almighty row? Infidelity? Good old-fashioned cold feet? No – her family had simply decided they weren’t happy with the groom and decided to pull the plug. Welcome to the world of arranged marriages.
As a woman who was born and grew up in India, arranged marriages – those planned and agreed by the families of the couple, rather than due to the romantic inclinations of the couple themselves – have never made sense to me. But they remain the norm in many South Asian communities. In a 2018 survey of more than 160,000 Indian households, 93 per cent of married couples said theirs was an arranged marriage. It’s not just older couples skewing the statistics – while 94 per cent of over-eighties had an arranged marriage, the figure remains over 90 per cent for married couples in their twenties.
And now Netflix has got in on the act with Indian Matchmaking. The show, in its second season, follows Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia and her uber-rich Indian clients around the world who depend on her to find them a life partner through the arranged marriage system. The families and parents are heavily involved in the process from day one – so much so that it’s not unusual (though it is uncomfortable) to see that the first date often involves meeting the family too.
Netflix claims the show offers ‘an inside look at the custom in a modern era’. But to me, it feels like it’s trying its best to be the South Asian version of Love Island – with a cast of cringeworthy characters creating unnecessary drama and tears.
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