Martin Bright

The Real New Statesman

I am the last person to speak ill of the New Statesman. But even during those golden years when I worked at the magazine, I have to admit we struggled with a tendency towards earnestness. During the Kampfner era, the senior editorial team tried time and again to introduce a little levity among the wonkiness and hand-wringing. I am now prepared to admit we didn’t often pull it off.
But our successors have finally pulled it off — by creating a spoof online business section.
At first sight it looks like a crude aggregator of corporate press releases. But look a little closer and I defy you to find anything funnier on the web today. It is quite brilliant.
Unfortunately, the NS has seen fit to pull down the piece “Cold Stone Creamery unveils chocolate-dipped strawberry ice-cream”. Perhaps they were worried that too many people would die laughing.
But luckily we get still get the previous installment in the magazine’s coverage of the ice-cream wars with this deathless prose:
“MaggieMoo’s Ice Cream has expanded its line of ice cream products to include a new Pink Champagne sorbet and Dream Cakes for Two. The Dream cake features strawberry ice cream, drizzled with chocolate ganache, and topped with a chocolate covered strawberry.”
There is endless fun to be had here with other sections on the automotive industry, banking and pharmaceuticals, those well-known socialist causes.

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