The Tory party’s attitude towards Scotland is as stupid as it is cynical

I preferred Grant Shapps when, as Michael Green, he was just another loathsome internet huckster peddling obviously quackish get-rich-quick schemes.

He did less damage then. That is, he played a smaller number of people for fools back then. This morning Shapps, the Conservative party chairman, made the remarkable claim that “Alex Salmond is threatening to undermine a government chosen by the British people”. (Note to Mr Shapps: the Scottish people are British too. We had, as you may recall, a vote on this. Quite recently.)

I assume Shapps is the member for Codswallop-on-Stilts because this is nonsense. Worse than that, it is dangerous nonsense. Which in turn means it is hard to decide if it is worse that Shapps does not know this or that he does know it and does not care.

In the first-place, Shapps’s remarks are constitutionally-illiterate. It is parliament that determines the government, not the people. True, this usually – though not always – means the government is formed by the party winning the largest number of seats. They will ordinarily have the first chance at forming a government anyway.

But if the largest party cannot command the confidence of the house there’s no requirement for opposition parties to say, Ah, well, sure, have a go anyway. If the Conservatives cannot lead a government that is supported by a majority of MPs that’s their problem.

Accusing the SNP of undermining democracy – ! – makes as much sense as accusing the Labour party of doing the same. Actually, it’s worse than that. Because it suggests that these revolting, uppity, Jocks should know their place. They may be led to water but on no account may they be allowed to drink.

I would prefer the SNP to lose the Scottish portion of the election but this morning I sensed my personal swingometer veering towards the SNP. This did not cheer me greatly, not least because I reckoned that if, albeit in a state of pre-caffeine irritation, I was tempted to look more fondly upon the Nationalists then many others must be likewise persuaded to do so too.

Shapps, blithering nincompoop that he is, feeds the SNP beast. If, to repeat myself, Tories ask Scots to choose between their Scottishness and their Unionism then Unionism will be routed. This, however, is what the Tories appear determined to do.

Plainly, there’s no reason why either the Tories or Labour should work with the SNP far less court their support but it is quite another thing to suggest, as Shapps does, that it is somehow illegitimate for the SNP to exercise its influence as it sees fit. There are plenty of people who will understand this as English votes fine; Scottish votes horrendous. There are leading votes, first-class votes, good votes and votes and, between you and me, (Scottish) votes are pretty bad.

So the SNP will be tempted to send Mr Shapps a case of pink champagne this morning. There’s no need for them to campaign when the Tories will do all the heavy lifting for them.

Nor is Shapps is some kind of rogue idiot, wandering off the reservation. His deputy, Bob Neill, suggests there’d be something ‘deeply sinister’ about the SNP voting down a Tory minority government’s Queen’s Speech. Piffle.

Now I understand that many folk in England dislike Alex Salmond and, indeed, his party. That’s understandable. They remain – just! – a minority enthusiasm in Scotland too. But that does not mean the Conservative and Unionist party (the latter part originating in Ireland but now, obviously, meaning Scotland too) has to react so stupidly to each and every nationalist provocation.

Again, it is hard to know which is worse: Tory cynicism or Tory stupidity? Perhaps the simplest explanation is that they are stupid and cynical.

Sure, we know SNP votes in Scotland are useful to the Tories just as Tory votes in England are useful to the SNP. There is an unspoken, unofficial, Molotov-Ribbentrop pact of convenience operating here. But, alas, only one party to this de facto alliance knows what it is doing and it’s not the Conservative party. They are, at best, three steps behind in this game.

Things have come to a pretty pass when the Conservatives stoke the SNP fire in Scotland and do their best to cultivate an anti-Scotland backlash south of the border. But this is what they are doing. It is, if you will, an act of unpardonable folly.