Blame Covid. That’s the origin of the BBC’s hit game-show, The Traitors. Workplaces are still deserted as people sit in their kitchens tapping away at their laptops but they crave the drama of office politics. This show lays on conspiracies and intrigues galore. The setting is a quaint old Scottish castle where a random group of players compete to win a pile of cash. Each contestant is ordered to tell the truth but a small number are given permission to cheat. These roles are assigned in secret, which fosters an atmosphere of fraud and mistrust. It’s a paradise for crooks and cut-throats. The castle is sprawling with side-parlours and shadowy drawing rooms where conspiracies can be hatched and strategies discussed as the contestants try to identify the ‘traitors’ among them. The precise order of play is rather hard to grasp, and some of the rules seem to be improvised on the spot to create fresh opportunities for mendacity, nastiness and greed. It looks like an amusement conceived by a sadistic emperor with a low boredom threshold.
‘The Traitors’ looks like an amusement conceived by a sadistic emperor with a low boredom threshold
Claudia Winkelman hosts the show in her famous inky black hairdo. It’s so shiny that it looks like a 99p ‘Claudia Winkelman wig’ from Amazon. The producers seem to have spent a fortune making her look synthetic. Her handsome face is covered in smooth nut-brown varnish, as if she were an avatar at a tanning salon. And her deep-set eyes look like two electronic blips on a radar screen.
Last night, the show’s first loser was Charlotte, a traitor who tried to convince the others that she was playing honestly. Reacting to accusations of cheating, she laid on a series of tearful meltdowns over breakfast. Her fits of weeping were too numerous and stage-managed to be credible. Everyone saw through it. During the first round of voting, she was evicted by a unanimous verdict. At this point she wept genuinely for the first time.
The next player to get shafted was a posh drip called Alexander, a ‘faithful’ who was described on our screens as an ‘ex-diplomat.’ We were left to guess why his career at the Foreign Office came to an end. He resigned perhaps. Or maybe he got sacked. Was he exposed as a double agent? Rather unlikely. Alexander is so naïve and eager-to-please that he’ll probably be re-hired by Keir Starmer and installed as our ambassador to Russia.
The ruthless backstabbing was interrupted in mid-morning by a gratuitous outdoor mission. The idea was to create a bit of visual relief rather than to deepen the layers of intrigue. For some reason, the show’s producers are anxious to pollute the pristine Scottish atmosphere as much as they can. The first episode of Series One began with the players setting fire to two giant bunny rabbits made of lolly sticks. Yesterday, a ring of moorland was set alight while a massive helicopter took off and flew over the smoking heather while the players chucked velvet pouches of money into the circle of flaming grass. Huge jets of gas were ignited each time a pouch hit the target area. Later, after sunset, the castle was illuminated by dozens of burning braziers. It’s unclear why the BBC needs to set Scotland alight just to amuse the licence-holders. Never mind.
The show’s climax was a thrilling face-off between Francesca and Leanne. Earlier in the day, Francesca blundered by telling Leanne that she deserved the prize more than the others. Good-natured Francesca wanted to set up a friendly alliance, but Leanne, a tough-as-boots army veteran, took it as an attempt to swindle her. At the next opportunity, she plunged the knife into Francesca and the others followed suit. Innocent Francesca was promptly ordered to leave the castle in disgrace like a pregnant scullery maid. Then, in a surprise twist, Leanne was rewarded for her treachery. When the jackpot was shared out, Leanne found herself in possession of half the loot. She won nearly fifty grand.
This was an affront to justice. A complete moral outrage. But it was too late. And such travesties are part of real life, and we have to accept them. The good are punished. The wicked are enriched. Perhaps that’s why this silly, unpleasant and horribly contrived show is so popular. It feeds our secret lust for cruelty. At a moral level, it’s the equivalent of watching prisoners in blindfolds being forced to fight each other with chainsaws. We should avert our eyes in embarrassment, but we can’t help taking a peek. Have we no shame? Apparently not.
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