The Turf | 11 April 2009

There is nothing quite like Aintree’s Ladies Day on Grand National Friday when the girls emerge from local tanning salons, whatever the weather, in roaming she-packs of wispy chiffon. No opportunity to add an extra bow or ra-ra flounce is neglected. Only the shy ones stop at bottom-hugging red satin and six-inch glitter heels. For superstructures, the motto is: ‘United we stand, divided we fall.’ One quartet pointed at my slightly jaunty red corduroys and declared, ‘We’ll have those off youse.’ Uncertain whether it was a compliment or threat, I fled.

Further challenges followed. Arriving at my long-booked hotel I was met by a security guard, inquiring if I had come to buy the place. It had closed six weeks previously. Then I learned that, for production reasons, this column had to be confined to 600 words, leaving me sympathising with the lawyer–MP given three minutes to address a Tory Party conference: ‘In the Central Criminal Court,’ he protested, ‘they give me three minutes merely to clear my throat.’

‘Get modern,’ urged Mrs Oakley. ‘Ten million users of Twitter every month deliver their messages in fewer than 140 characters.So can you and the people you talk to on the racecourse.’

Lester Piggott wouldn’t have worried. A biographer once asked him, ‘Sir Ivor was your favourite horse. How would you sum up your feelings?’ Lester deliberated for a full three minutes and replied: ‘Nice ’orse.’ Well within the 140.

Jockey Mattie Batchelor, after his first spin over the National fences in Friday’s John Smith’s Topham Chase, put them nicely into perspective: ‘You think about Becher’s but The Chair is massive. I’m only a little guy and it looked like a block of flats to me.’

Trainer Ferdy Murphy, whose Kalahari King was deeply impressive winning Saturday’s novice chase, passed the Twitter test too. Asked if he gave detailed instructions to rider Graham Lee, who boldly took a pull at one stage, he declared: ‘I train them, he rides them.’

The canny and elegant Venetia Williams, the fast lady (she likes super-charged cars) who trained the Grand National winner, did give one instruction to successful jockey Liam Heard, who was tackling the fences for the first time. ‘Remember,’ she told him, ‘that light in front of you is gold dust.’ The best advice of all. Get too close to another runner in a field of 40 and you can suffer from another’s mistakes. Your horse has a better chance of jumping those famous Aintree fences if he can see them clearly.

Finally two horses to note for the future. Emma Lavelle’s stable is developing into a truly classy establishment and the quality showed again with victory for the inexperienced but tough Bouggler in the novice hurdle. Said jockey Noel Fehily, ‘Every time I gave him a squeeze [and he didn’t mean a hug] he found more.’

For next year’s Grand National, if he gets in, don’t miss out on Irish Raptor, a course specialist who runs a stone better at Aintree. Said normally reticent trainer Nigel Twiston-Davies, ‘He just eats these fences for breakfast. He stays, jumps and is the perfect National horse.’ You read it here first.

The last Twitter goes though to jockey William Kennedy, after trainer Paul Webber had led 50–1 victor Time For Rupert quickly back to the stables because he appeared a little distressed. The jockey reassured us: ‘He’s going to be OK. He just needs a wash and a drink.’ Me, too, after my encounter with those Merseyside ladies.