Alex Massie Alex Massie

The Ugly American Abroad: Animal Version

DT Max had an entertaining piece in the New York Times Magazine this Sunday, exploring the Great British Squirrel Wars. Short story: its the worst sort of Squirrel Imperialism. American greys are driving out the smaller, but cuter, British red. Sadly the pair cannot coexist and it is always the red that succumbs – often killed by the mysterious Squirrelpox carried by the greys to which the American interlopers are irritatingly immune. The greys, already rampant across most of England are now targetting the Lake District and Southern Scotland. Something must be done!

Happily the World’s Greatest Deliberative Body is on the case. I speak, of course, of the House of Lords. Even in these pale days, now that the right of most of the hereditary peers to attend has been removed, it remains a national treasure. The noble Lords pondered the fate of the red squirrel last year. Mr Max quotes from the debate in his article but, really he could have saved himself plenty of work and just published excerpts form the debate accompanied by a brief, prefatory note. I make no apology for the length of this post. It’s all gold:

Earl Peel: To many, the red squirrel represents an integral part of our woodland landscape—an iconic creature, immortalised by Beatrix Potter, through the charismatic character of Squirrel Nutkin. But before concentrating on Squirrel Nutkin—or sciurus vulgaris, to give him his rather unflattering title—I thought I might conduct a brief health check of some of the main characters in Beatrix Potter’s class of 1912. Starting with Tabitha Twitchit and Tom Kitten, they are truly on top of their game—despite the fact that against a declining wild bird population they are responsible for the killing of some 160 million birds per annum. It is perhaps surprising, given this carnage, that some of the conservation charities do not cry “foul”—but that might have something to do with the small matter of membership.

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