Melissa Kite Melissa Kite

There is a new and deadly threat to the countryside

Is there nowhere left a country girl can go where she is not under siege?

[Photo: rmfox]

Surprise, surprise. The person who had the shield taken out of the street light so it shone back into my bedroom window was precisely the person it was always going to be.

I wish the world would shock me more, but it seldom seems to. When the council told me someone had demanded the full glare of the bright white LED bulb be restored, I nursed a forlorn hope that it might not be the obvious suspect.

Wouldn’t it be exciting, I thought, if someone other than a left-wing vegan interfered in my happiness? But it was not to be.

Lefties love harsh light bulbs, even in rural areas. I think it’s something to do with them not really liking the countryside and trying to make it more like the town.

Urbanisation being their pet project, they are aided and abetted by every fool who now comes to the countryside to do something antisocial in the spare time they have too much of since working from home became the norm.

If the dirt bikes come when I’m actually riding the thoroughbred on that path, I’m a dead woman

I was trying to exercise my horse in the sand school the other day when my instructor suddenly shouted: ‘Turn around now and ride back towards me!’

As I turned, I heard a roar behind me. ‘Sit up straight!’ he shouted, for Darcy had begun to leap about as the roar got louder.

I clung on to the reins, and about 20 dirt bikes raced behind the hedge up the byway that runs beside this idyllic farming estate where one minute earlier all had been peace aside from the faint mooing of cows in the fields, and now all the hell of modern stupidity and selfishness was breaking loose.

And of course it was worse for the horse because the bikes were hidden behind the hedge of the farm, though within feet of us, as they used the surface of the public byway as a racing track.

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