Theresa and Philip bored the nation with their strong and stable relationship

How was last night’s TV squirm-athon? The sacrificial victims handled it pretty well, at first. Theresa May and her unknown husband, Philip, were roasted live on a BBC sofa. The idea, presumably, was to make them seem relaxed, normal, unexciting, not too posh, at ease with themselves and, above all, genuine.

Dull Phil sported a bland shirt, no tie, and a forgettable jacket. With his gnomish pallor and his thick-rimmed spectacles he resembled Sir Ian McKellen entering a Woody Allen lookalike contest. Mrs May was in headmistress mode. Her wandering lips – each has a life of its own – were painted in hard-Brexit scarlet. She wore a black-and-white tunic that looked like a pixellated chess board.

Theresa May’s ❤️ of 👠 has inspired others to get into politics pic.twitter.com/cj5uYFf0fG — BBC The One Show (@BBCTheOneShow) May 9, 2017

Phil wisely played the Sphinx during the opening rounds. His wife answered the questions and was almost melodramatically banal.