Matthew Vincent

Think outside the jargon box

‘Dinosaurs ... think inside the box. Dolphins ... occupy the space outside the box.

‘Dinosaurs … think inside the box. Dolphins … occupy the space outside the box.

‘Dinosaurs … think inside the box. Dolphins … occupy the space outside the box. The dinosaurs’ negative headset creates a lose-lose situation, whereas the dolphins’ can-do headset enables them to score a try!’ ‘Set out to leave the first vapour trail in the blue-sky scenario!’ Readers of the Financial Times, and viewers of The Office, will probably recognise these words of wisdom imparted by corporate thought-leader Martin Lukes and branch manager David Brent. But even if you’ve never encountered the fictional creations of, respectively, Lucy Kellaway and Ricky Gervais, you may well recognise their language from your own working life. According to the latest research, more than half of all employees in large organisations say the use of business jargon is increasing. All this blue-sky hot air is getting out of hand: the training agency Investors in People warns that it could even be damaging UK productivity.

‘Management-speak’ only entered the Oxford English Dictionary in January this year, but it clearly entered the British workplace a lot earlier than that. A YouGov survey, commissioned by Investors in People to mark its 15th anniversary last month, found that the new vocabulary has spread as virally as any ‘value-added’ marketing campaign. Nearly two thirds of employees of large organisations said that management jargon such as ‘singing from the same hymn sheet’, ‘heads up’, ‘getting our ducks in a row’ and ‘brain dump’ was often used where they work. Perhaps surprisingly, given the transatlantic overtones of this new language, you are most likely to endure it in the provincial backwaters of local government, where well over half say it is common, compared with just over a quarter in the retail sector.

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