Toby Young Toby Young

This snap election’s real victims? Bankers’ wives

Theresa May is a ‘turncoat’ and Boris Johnson the ultimate villain – but who else are they going to vote for?

The people I feel most sorry for in the wake of Theresa May’s shock announcement are not moderate Labour MPs, nor even the pollsters, who really will be in trouble if they get another election wrong. No, it’s the bankers’ wives of west London. If the EU is going to be the No.1 issue in the campaign, and the Tories are standing on a pro-Brexit platform, how will the poor dears vote?

On the one hand, they were very, very angry about the outcome of the EU referendum and, even today, they’re not above buttonholing leavers at cocktail parties and giving them the hairdryer treatment. They regard David Cameron as criminally negligent —‘How could he let this happen?’ — and Theresa May as a ‘turncoat’. I’ve been told on more than one occasion that I’ve ‘betrayed’ my children, although it’s hard for them to sustain the tone of moral indignation when, in the next breath, they talk about the ‘terrible uncertainty’ now afflicting their live-in housekeeper Agnieszka Kowalski.

But on the other hand, who else can they vote for? Corbyn? Admittedly, there is something ‘rather charming’ about the fact that he has an allotment and he’s ‘authentic’ and ‘passionate’ and ‘dead right’ about the NHS. But didn’t he just say he wants to impose VAT on school fees? That strikes them as a bit ‘unfair’. It’s not that they’re worried about their own bank balances — of course not! — but their ‘struggling’ friends in the media who are making ‘huge sacrifices’ to send Arthur and Xanthippe to Notting Hill Prep. Why, only last year the Bottomly-Smythes had to give up their membership of the Campden Hill Lawn Tennis Club! No, you have to think of the less fortunate.

How about the Greens? So much to admire there! Everything they say about the need to save the planet and how materialistic we’ve all become and how we need to be more like people in the Third World is ‘so, so true’.

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