Tourist misinformation

In Competition No. 2861 you were invited to submit misleading snippets of advice for British tourists travelling abroad.

A previous invitation to unleash a tide of misinformation on unsuspecting foreign visitors to the UK elicited such gems as Brian Allgar’s ‘Foreign visitors are always welcome to stroll through Buckingham Palace, and the Queen herself will be delighted to pose for a photo-shoot. If anyone tries to prevent you from entering, simply say: “I’ve come to shoot the Queen.”’ The same spirit of sadistic mischief was on show this time round.

As usual with comps of this kind there was repetition. A fair few of you echoed Basil Ransome-Davies’s wise counsel about that ‘quaint British custom’ queueing. ‘Let go of your inhibitions,’ he says, ‘and take part in the enjoyable free-for-all of a waiting line in, for example, a French post office.’ There were also several variations on Sean Haffey’s ‘The only state in the USA where marijuana is legal is Florida. However, it is mandatory to declare drugs at Miami customs and courteous to share a sample’, and on this unhelpful tip from Barry Baldwin: ‘American airport security is the world’s most relaxed. Crack a joke about bombs in your suitcase and they’ll be falling about.’ Tracy Davidson’s ‘Foreigners will understand you perfectly if you speak slowly and loudly at them in English’ also popped up more than once.

The winners are printed below and earn a fiver per snippet.

Respect the libertarian tradition in Barcelona with the popular greeting that urges Catalans to ‘live free’ — ‘viva franco’.
It’s considered lucky to take a drink from the famous Manneken Pis statue in Brussels.
US Immigration and Customs Enforcement personnel can make entering the country a difficult and protracted affair, but a $50 ‘gratuity’ for an obstructive official will smooth the way for visitors.