Twinkle, twinkle little star

I think this is my favourite seasonal story so far, aside from that Korean bloke popping his clogs. Toddlers at a playgroup in York have been banned from doing the hand motions to a nursery rhyme in case it inadvertently offends any deaf people who might, or might not, be watching. The rhyme in question is “Twinkle, twinkle, little star” and the problem has arisen because the gesture the kiddies use for “twinkling star” is very similar to the Makaton sign for a very rude word indeed, referring to a lady’s furry cup of sin. The sort of word one doesn’t expect young children to bandy about. A playgroup spokeswoman with a large block of Cathedral City Cheddar Cheese between her ears said that this was not political correctness, but “a sensible decision”. I suppose it is possible she was worried that the deaf might be mystified as to why the kids were singing a song about, say, Piers Morgan, and why he was supposedly twinkling. But the real problem they have is confusing “deaf” with “thick”. I suppose it’s an easy mistake to make as sometimes deaf people just sit there looking mystified when you say stuff to them. But that’s only because they can’t hear you.